So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
