i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
