She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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