god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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