nut hugger
i just wanna soil my oats bro
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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