I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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