So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
