I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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