Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
