I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
