went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
