There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
