I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
