Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
