from now on my penis is your penis
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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