We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
