I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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