it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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