Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
