i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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