So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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