people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
