so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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