I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
