I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
