So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm both gender and math confused
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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