Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
