i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
you told grandpa to call you daddy
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
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