And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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