i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
