I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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