He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
