people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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