He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
