I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Randomize
