I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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