420 ftw
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
