I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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