Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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