A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
