my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
