i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
