Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
