I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
