I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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