What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Randomize
