i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
