It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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