Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
