i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
