i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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