Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
